JOKES!!!

[luddite]

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him.
He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a gourmet dinner with expensive wine. On the way
home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he’s getting
pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she’s a virgin and wants to
stay that way.
“Well, okay,” he says, “how about a blow job?”
“Yuck!” she screams. “I’m not putting that thing in my mouth!”
He says, “Well, then, how about a hand job?”
“I’ve never done that,” she says. “What do I have to do?”
“Well,” he answers, “remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and
spray your brother with it?” She nods. “Well, it’s just like that.”
So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops
back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he
screams out in pain.
“What’s wrong?!” she cries out.
“Take your thumb off the end!!”

 

[Antec98]

Difference between good girls and bad girls
Good girls open few buttons in hot atmosphere,
But bad girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot.:snore:

 

[blueoystercult]

Velcro

what a rip-off!

 

[Antec98]

A couple in train
Girl- my hand is paining,
Boy kisses the hand,
Girl- my neck is paining,
Boy kisses the neck,
An old man asks boy,
Son, do u also treat piles.:eyebulge:

 

[Antec98]

Interviewer: I heard that, you are very sexy.
Instead of answering she did this......:chainsaw:

 

[blueoystercult]

Back in the days before mobile phones and random dick pics, people used to make dirty phone calls for kicks. One evening this bloke called my house and when my mother answered he panted down the phone
"'Allo darlin'. If you can tell me what I've got in my 'and, I'll come round and show it to you"
My mum didn't bat an eyelash. She just replied perfectly calmly
"Sweetheart, if you can hold it in one hand I'm not interested."
and she hung up and made tea.
BOC

 

[Antec98]

Last night my cock:banana:went to pussy, pussy is laying eggs since morning.:ubergay:

 

[blueoystercult]

Chap walks into a pub with a pig on a lead.
Landlord leans over the bar and asks "Where'd you get that?"
And the pig looked up and said
"The streets are full of 'em..."
BOC